Newsfelch.co.uk: Officer worker successfully imitates modem

Turning fact into fiction and back again

Did he take it just too far?
An office worker in London this week has been projected into the limelight for successfully imitating a modem.
According to his co-worker, Left Buttwik, has perfected the noise emitted by a standard external PC modem when dialing a connection to the internet.
"It all started a couple of weeks back", says Tiny Bunyon, a former employee. "I used to sit opposite him in this tiny room, just the two of us. One Monday morning I got online to grab my emails and as the modem was connecting Left pretended to be a modem too. It was a little funny I guess. I remember smiling but that's it. I definitely didn't laugh. But he just thought it was a hoot and carried on all day. I thought it was pretty odd, but the next day he was at it again. He really took it too far."
"It just didn't stop, it went on for weeks. And he was so damn smug about it too. And it's no big thing either, I probably could do it to but I just don't want to. Not no for sure."
Mr. Bunyon has since left the team and has sort employment elsewhere.
According to Office Psychologists this problem is on the rise. An official area of psychology is now centred on 'feigned laughter and other social support systems'. "This is kind of occurrence puts the subject in a quandary," said one expert, "they have to smile but deep down .. they think the person's a jerk."
Modems: chirpy little numbers
In a timely moment in time, leading psychologist Dr. Keek Kant has just launched a book on the very subject. Entitled "You stink and I'm not afraid to say so" could become one of this year's best sellers, maybe.
Do you know a untalented tosser? If so, mail us and we'll expose him?