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| Iraqis receive extra
rations of brussel sprouts |
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| News leaked out of
Iraq yesterday, via the National Iraqi Television Network,
detailing Saddam's latest strategy in undermining the work of
the UN Weapons Inspectors. |
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According to the report, Saddam is
attempting to thwart the inspectors search for the real chemical
stockade by asking his people to make their own and bury it across
the country.
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| Exploiting the
'oil for food' sanction loophole, Saddam is importing a
million tonne of brussel sprouts a day for his citizens
to consume. Armed with a glass jar and a shovel each
Iraqi national is required to fart a good measure into
the jar then bury it somewhere remote. Citizens will be
rewarded for looking suspicious and making little paper
maps. |
Authentic Iraqi arse gas
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| Col. Boomhowl of the
US military said today that, "this is a gross act of
indecency. Not only does it cause immeasurable problems for the
inspectors, it also gives me the hibby-geebies about ever going
there to beat them up. I mean, who wants to set foot on one of
them buried jars - you never know what will happen."
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"We want this much by
tomorrow." - Iraqi Health Minister for Glass Jars |
The Iraqi
government has calculated that with 5 million farts
collected each day, the entire country could be covered in
buried fart-jars with an approximate density of one every
ten feet.
And with an average volume
of 0.8 litre, a total fart cloud could be created that
would cover the entire country of France.
It's unknown whether the
Allied forces would have time for this after the war.
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Other news: A US Military
spy-plane took this picture earlier this week, clearly
showing a giant toilet roll being whisked into Baghdad.
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