Newsfelch.co.uk: Saddam asks Iraqis to bury fart gas

Turning fact into fiction and back again

Iraqis receive extra rations of brussel sprouts
News leaked out of Iraq yesterday, via the National Iraqi Television Network, detailing Saddam's latest strategy in undermining the work of the UN Weapons Inspectors.
According to the report, Saddam is attempting to thwart the inspectors search for the real chemical stockade by asking his people to make their own and bury it across the country.
Exploiting the 'oil for food' sanction loophole, Saddam is importing a million tonne of brussel sprouts a day for his citizens to consume. Armed with a glass jar and a shovel each Iraqi national is required to fart a good measure into the jar then bury it somewhere remote. Citizens will be rewarded for looking suspicious and making little paper maps. 


Authentic Iraqi arse gas

Col. Boomhowl of the US military said today that, "this is a gross act of indecency. Not only does it cause immeasurable problems for the inspectors, it also gives me the hibby-geebies about ever going there to beat them up. I mean, who wants to set foot on one of them buried jars - you never know what will happen."

"We want this much by tomorrow." - Iraqi Health Minister for Glass Jars
The Iraqi government has calculated that with 5 million farts collected each day, the entire country could be covered in buried fart-jars with an approximate density of one every ten feet.

And with an average volume of 0.8 litre, a total fart cloud could be created that would cover the entire country of France.

It's unknown whether the Allied forces would have time for this after the war.

Other news: A US Military spy-plane took this picture earlier this week, clearly showing a giant toilet roll being whisked into Baghdad.